Once mummy had purchased my nappy liners and a stock of zinc and castor oil cream she placed my blanket over me followed by the carrycots apron then returned to her car.
Before putting me and my cot in the car, she opened the back door and put two stickers, one each side of the rear window. It was not until she placed me in the car and dropped the hood to my carrycot I saw what they were. She had placed ‘BABY ON BOARD’ stickers there. She got in the car herself and drove us home. Once home, the first thing she did was to remove my dress and petticoat, then change my wet nappy, and, as it was now two thirty she decided it was nap time for me. So she dressed me in a little nightdress and my harness, took me back to the kitchen where Cherie had made a bottle for me and fed me. Mummy asked Charlie to fetch the two packages from the car saying the picture frames they asked for are in one of them. While mummy was feeding me Cherie asked if she had managed to arrange my christening and mummy told her it was to be held the Sunday before Christmas. Cherie looked and smiled and said ‘how sweet, a Christmas baby’.
Once I had finished my bottle, mummy replaced my dummy in my mouth and took me to my pram where she laid me down, attached the clips to my harness, covered me with a blanket and finally raised the hood to let me sleep. Mummy returned to the kitchen to have herself a cup of tea and said to Cherie and Charlie, ‘You know that the charity dinner/dance I organise each year in aid of the children’s home is in two weeks; well, that is going to be my little Teresa May’s debut. Everybody who is anybody in this community will be there’. As mummy always invites her managers and families, also Cheri and Charlie she said to them that she would arrange for a nanny that day so that they could have a nice time too. Cherie became quite agitated at this and said to mummy ‘I am not sure that is such a good idea madam, it could be a little stressful for Teresa and to be looked after by a stranger could be quite distressing for her’. ‘I don’t see any alternative’ mummy replied. ‘I will look after her’, Cherie replied. ‘But that will spoil your evening dear’, said mummy. ‘Not at all madam, I will love doing it and we will be certain she knows who is looking after her, after all she is going to meet an awful lot of strangers that night and one more may be just too much for her’. ‘Alright dear’, mummy said ‘If you are sure and I am sure you are right. I will try and make it up to you somehow soon’. Charlie then muttered ‘Teresa May, a pretty name for a pretty baby’. Both mummy and Cherie looked at him and chuckled, surprised by his statement. After my sleep, I awoke and starRobert crying which made mummy come in to see what was wrong, but as she came closer she just said ‘Oh poo, who has made a stinky then?’ picked me up and took me to my nursery to be cleaned and have my nappies changed.
I wasn’t crying so much because I had soiled my nappy, but because I had been unable to stop myself. From continent to incontinent in just four days was quite frightening, especially when one recalls what Dr. Stone had said to mummy about the longer I am on this diet the harder it will be to go back to solids and potty train again. The doctor had also told mummy that the longer I was on this diet the more my tummy would shrink making solids virtually impossible for me to digest; but also I would lose some weight. ‘Nothing dangerous’ she said. Also; the Oestrogen will not only give me a softer skin texture but also round my muscle tone out making me a little chubbier and more baby like. When mummy finished, I was wearing instead of a dress, a white satin romper of mummies design. I had two Robertdy bears embroidered on the bodice and little lacy edges at the leg and arm hems. She carried me downstairs, once again going through the safety gates and put me in my playpen.
Carefully checking the gate was properly closed she put a DVD on for me to watch. Mummy then returned to the kitchen and explained to Cherie and Charlie the outline for the next two days. Because I had had so much stress and so many changes to my life over the last four days, the next two (Friday and Saturday) were to be quiet days. I would be in my romper suits and left in my playpen except for feeds and naps of course. Mummy also explained it would give her chance to catch up on farm business before the weekly meeting with Robert. Friday arrived and as promised it was a very quiet day for me other than my usual baby routines. Saturday arrived and once again I had my dirty nappies removed and bathed. Clean nappies and panties put on but this time a dress too. Mummy explained ‘Uncle Robert’ was coming for their weekly meeting but also his wife too, so she wanted me looking pretty. She then took me down to the kitchen, but this time put me in my highchair, put my bib on me and fed me whilst having her own breakfast. She let Cherie give me my bottle while she finished her own breakfast. Once I had finished my bottle, Cherie cleaned me and took me to my playpen and calling mummy asked if she should put the TV on for me. Mummy said ‘yes’ and I was then left to watch Teletubbies and such on the Cbeebies channel. Mummy then busied herself with farm business while Cherie and Charlie went about their duties and before anyone knew it, it was ten AM and Robert arrived with his wife. Mummy greeted them and Robert’s wife said ‘where is she, I have been longing to see her’. Mummy bought her into the lounge and to my surprise and a little horror it was Betty, the lady I worked next to in the bulb shed. Betty looked and said ‘Awwwwww, what a pretty little thing, I knew she did not belong in that bulb shed. She belongs right where she is’. She then looked at mummy and said ‘may I hold her?’ and mummy replied ‘of course, you cared for her in the bulb shed for me’. Picking me up from my playpen Betty just looked at me and said ‘sweetheart you are so lucky having the loving mummy you have and you are the prettiest baby girl too’. It turned out mummy had asked Robert if Betty would do four days in the bulb shed to watch me’. Of course Robert had arranged with the shed foreman for Betty to be sat next to me. Betty had agreed but when she saw my hands on the second morning, and the fact I could not break a small chocolate bar into pieces she knew I had to be taken from there and hence I arrived at the Big House two and a half days early. While Betty was fussing over me and playing making me giggle I realised how comfortable I now felt with her. I was no longer embarrassed. Mummy and Robert went over all the farm details of things done, things to do etc. and when finished said to Robert ‘I want to take Teresa to church on Sunday, but, I do not want to take her in her carrycot. I would rather she be in her pram. Can you help please?’ Robert replied ‘I could use the farms mini-bus to take Betty and the two girls too which would allow me to remove the back seats to make room to carry the pram for you. BUT, he said I would advise that you take her to church in her carrycot and change her to her pram once there’.
‘Would you mind doing that?’ mummy asked. ‘Be a pleasure, I will pick the pram up Sunday on the way to church’ Robert replied. Mummy smiled and looked at the clock; she tanked Robert for sorting the pram problem out and said it was my feed time. Robert the surprised everyone by saying ‘Perhaps I am out of order but, it has been many years since I had a baby in my arms and gave her, her bottle. Would you allow me please?’ Mummy looking surprised too, said ‘well of course Robert if you wish’. Taking me from Betty’s arms into his own and cradling me as he did in the bulb shed I once more felt that affection a parent gives a child and was this time comfortable. Cherie arrived with my bottle and Robert quite deftly with his little finger removed my dummy teat to replace it with the teat of my bottle. I instantly began to suc-kle feeling neither embarrassment nor humility but a strange euphoria settled about me. Betty looked at mummy and said ‘Well Teresa has certainly taken to Robert’. And mummy explained what had happened that day in the bulb shed when I was hysterical. Betty simply said ‘He was always good with our girls too, a natural’. When my bottle was almost empty Robert asked for a towel and when it arrived Betty knew what would happen. Robert asked for it to be placed over his shoulder. Once my bottle my bottle was empty he handed it to mummy then before lifting me to his shoulder gently rubbed my back for a moment. Betty looked at mummy and said ‘watch this’. Robert then lifted me so I was looking over his should and again gently rubbed my back and patted it. With a minute I gave a great big burp, threw up a little milk and was turned around to have my face cleaned. Robert then replaced my dummy (which was still on his little finger) and cradled me in his arms once more. Gently rocking me I was asleep in minutes.
This six foot two inch muscular man was truly a gentle giant. He nursed me for a few minutes longer then passed me to mummy so she could put me in my pram and strangely even when putting my harness on me I never woke up. All I knew was when I did awake I was in my pram and not Uncle Robert’s caring arms. So, what had apparently started as a very embarrassing day actually was about the best day of my new life.
When mummy came in to me the first thing she did was to check my nappies and true to form I was wet.
Unclipping my harness she carried me to the nursery once again where she cleaned me and once again coated my nappy area with zinc and castor oil cream and a generous coating of baby powder causing a little cloud of it to waft into the air spreading its delicate perfume around.
She replaced my nappies and plastic panties, but this time they were plain pink ones, not the rumba ones I had on before. This was because she was putting me back in to my satin romper so I could play for a little while before dinner (as in evening meal).
This time however instead of putting me in my playpen she placed me on the floor of the lounge, gave me my pink bunny rabbit while she sat in her favourite armchair and watched me (with a huge warm smile on her face) crawl around. When with the aid of the sofa I tried to stand it was a true baby attempt. My legs were all akimbo and wobbly; until I finally plopped down on to my padded bottom.
In what appeared to be no time at all, Cherie entered the room and told mummy dinner was being served. With that mummy picked me up and carried me to my highchair.
Once again Charlie had taken some vegetables, a little drop of gravy and some meat, placed them all in a blender and pureed it for me. Cherie placed the bowl on the tray of my highchair along with a pink plastic spoon and asked mummy if she would like her to feed me while she dined.
By now the muscle relaxant (my medicine) I was being given was beginning to have full effect. Whilst feeding me Cherie noticed my mouth coordination was slow and a little erratic causing me to spill some of my food down my bib. She pointed this out to mummy who just smiled and said ‘All BABIES do that dear’. But inwardly she was pleased; yet another step towards total babyhood.
What no-one had thought about was the fact that the tongue is simply a muscle and it too had been affected, and when I went to complain about what was happening to me all that came out was baby like gibberish and with my sing song voice really sounded totally infantile.
To my horror and everyone’s joy, I was unable to speak in an adult manner anymore. I simply could not get my tongue to shape words any more.
At this point I just burst out crying and refused to eat any more of my dinner.
This naturally upset everyone and in a matter of second’s mummy had me out of my highchair and was rocking me in her arms trying to calm me and assure me everything was going to be perfectly alright and not to worry. She was going to look after me and everyone loved me.
Then she looked at me and said ‘you like your Auntie Cherie and Uncle Charlie don’t you? Then there is your Uncle Robert and Aunty Molly, look at how Uncle Robert was really nice to you’.
Of course, even if I could have shaped the words I could not argue with what mummy had said to me and gradually began to calm down. Once I was settled once more Mummy replaced me in my highchair and said to me ‘now be a good girl and finish your din dins for Auntie Cherie, then mummy will give you your nice bottle’.
My mind was in turmoil at being unable to speak but I did manage to finish my dinner, albeit with a lot of it now down my bib. Once I had finished Cherie got a damp cloth to clean my face and then sat to have her dinner.
Mummy took me from my highchair and got my bottle from the bottle warmer; she then took me into the lounge where she sat and gave me my bottle.
As I was drinking mummy then told me I should not worry about only being able to talk baby-talk because I didn’t need any more than that and people would know I was only a little baby. She told me how cute it made me and that only grown-ups needed to talk. Also she would be making ALL my decisions for me, so why did I NEED to talk
anymore. She then pointed out that all I need to be able to do is giggle when I am happy and cry if I am poorly or need my nappies changing. She then pointed out that all everyone wanted was for me to be happy and have lots of smiles for everyone.
I could understand mummy’s logic but was still frightened about it. When I had finished my bottle and before mummy replaced my dummy in my mouth she said ‘Now sweetheart, can I see one of those pretty little smiles....pretty please?’ and without any hesitation whatsoever I gave her a big smile. ‘Now isn’t that better?’ she said. She then proceeded to wind me; after which she gave me my dummy and put me in my playpen while she went to have a word with Cherie and Charlie.
Once in the kitchen she explained to Cherie and Charlie that now the muscle relaxant had worked so well the dose could be halved so as to maintain the condition but not increase it. Also that tomorrow (Sunday) was full medicine day so the Anti-Androgen and Estrogen should be added to my bottle too.
She then told Cherie about Robert collecting my pram and taking it to church so her and mummy would need to make sure everything was ready so all he had to do was collect it.
Cherie asked if she wanted a harness putting in my pram and mummy said no as I would be wearing one as I would be travelling in my carrycot. She then went on to explain that she wanted me in a thicker nappy as we could be quite a long time. Mummy suggested double soakers to which Cherie agreed.
Charlie said in a jovial manner ‘She will well bundled up’. And they all had a laugh.
Another thing mummy told them was that she expected the vicar to announce my forthcoming christening.
Cherie then asked ‘will she be in her pram during the service?’ mummy replied ‘no, I will cradle her to keep the stress down for her. A lot of things have happened to her over the last week and she must be confused so I want to keep things as easy as possible for her’.
Mummy then went on to say ‘Also when we make her last bottle before she is put down tonight, add one quarter of a tablet of the sedative, this will ensure a good night’s rest for her’.
Once she had explained all the arrangements mummy returned to me in the lounge. Firstly she switched the television on, and then she opened the gate to my playpen, lifted me out and sitting down in her chair she cradled me in her arms and quietly hummed little nursery rhymes.
She realised that after finding out I could no longer talk properly my stress levels must be high and I would need a lot more attention for a while at least to build my confidence and trust in everyone, especially mummy.
Mummy also decided she was going to spend a lot more time forming a mother baby bond. Her thinking being that it would make me more comfortable in my new life and slip into full baby mode a lot quicker.
She wanted me to be a full baby with no means of returning to an adult way of life; reminding herself of what Robert and Betty had said about me not belonging in an adult world and should be looked after and live as a little baby for all time. A thought mummy cherished.
Seven PM arrived as did Cherie with my last bottle for the day telling mummy my medicine was in the bottle too. Mummy then told Cherie I would be spending my first night in my cot so would she please ensure the baby monitor was working and clip it to the side of my cot. Mummy then settled into giving me my bottle.
After my bottle I was carried to my nursery where my nappy was changed for night time ones. Mummy also told Cherie, no harness this time I want to see if she can sleep on her back without it in her cot. So, I was laid in my cot, given my pink bunny rabbit and tucked in.
Mummy raised the side to my cot and was beaming when she turned to Cherie and said ‘Isn’t she the cutest little darling. If I have my way she will never grow up’.
The sedative quickly took hold and very soon I was sleeping and dreaming little baby dreams again.
Sunday morning arrived and mummy entered my nursery looking all nice and fresh. ‘Come along sweetheart’ she said, ‘time to get you into your Sunday finery’. With that she dropped the side of my cot, lifted me onto the changing table and began to undress me.
First, my little nightdress and she then said ‘Phewwww!! Who is little pongy one then?’ and laughed. She then removed my plastic panties and heavily soiled and wet nappy, placed them in the awaiting nappy bin and then proceeded to fill my baby bath with warm water. I was placed in the baby bath with mummy supporting me with a firm hand at my back. Using her other hand she gently bathed me and whilst washing my hair said ‘it is time we had this shaped properly darling’. (I hadn’t looked after it from leaving the centre to being mummy’s little baby, so it was getting long). During my bath and hair wash mummy had only used high quality Johnson and Johnson products as always; and, as usual when I was dried I smelled baby anyway without any other products. I had been washed, bathed and shampooed in nothing else and it must now be in my skin, I had to smell of baby all the time now. Mummy then towel dried my hair as gently as she could and while it was still damp brushed it to remove cots and tangles. Then she took it back into a ponytail. Next, she lay me down and strapped me to my changing table. I was then treated to a whole body baby oiling and felt wonderful. This of course was followed by my usual zinc and castor oil treatment in my nappy area, followed by a good powdering. Next; she put the special nappy arrangement on me. The two soaker’s, mummy had decided they would be side by side. So she folded two nappies into rectangles for soakers and two into kite shapes as covers. When these were pinned safely into place I felt as if I was doing the splits. I knew I had absolutely no chance of walking and doubted even if I would be able to crawl. Over these she placed a clear pair of clear plastic panties, and after checking we were all tucked in safely they were followed by a pair of white knitted baby tights. Mummy then put a little baby’s vest on me, did the little buttons on the shoulder up, thus closing the round neckline and said ‘right pet, let’s get your hair dry and looking nice’.
The changing table, like my pram had a section in the base that could be raised to support me in the sitting position, Mummy raised this so she could dry and brush my hair. Mummy then began blow drying my hair and carefully brushing it out. I felt like I was in heaven. I think it was at this point I began to think how lucky I was and how true the words of others about coping in a grown up world were. I contentedly suc-ked on my dummy. Mummy had finished drying my hair but was brushing and under brushing it making it all fluffy and shiny when Cherie walked into the nursery. Cherie then asked mummy if she would like her to finish getting me ready for church while she went and had her breakfast. Mummy thank her and explained my out for the day and reminded her that it would be the white baby harness today and could she make sure there were no little dirty spots showing. Mummy then left leaving Cherie to finish dressing me. My ensemble for the day consisted of a three layer white organza and chiffon petticoat, a white satin dress with a deep Peter Pan style collar made with fine Nottingham lace. The cuffs of the (almost elbow length) sleeves and the hem of the skirt were also trimmed in the same style lace. Next Cherie went to one of the drawers in my wardrobe and removed a set of bootees and mittens. These too were padded white satin and again trimmed with Nottingham lace. Finally after closely checking it was spotless Cherie put my harness upon me saying with a little laugh that I looked like a little snowball. Before taking me down for my breakfast she once again gently brushed my hair to make it look as pretty as possible as at this point I was not wearing a bonnet. Picking me up and then negotiating all the ‘safety’ hazards she took me down to the kitchen for my breakfast; but as we passed through the door both mummy and Charlie looked and huge smiles came over their faces and all mummy could say was ‘Ohhhh yes’. I was then placed in my highchair a bib carefully placed around my neck and over my dress, then slowly (so as to make no mess) given my breakfast. After finishing my cereal; mummy took me from my highchair, picked up my bottle of formula and carried me into the lounge where she proceed to give me my bottle. In the meantime Cherie and Charlie quickly cleared the pots away and then went to get changed for church. When Cherie returned she arrived carrying the bonnet to match my ensemble. This too was in white satin but instead of a peak style mummy had trimmed the front with starched Nottingham lace to once again form a halo effect around the face. Mummy always said it made my face look more petite. Cherie then took me from mummy which then allowed mummy to go and get ready for church. Mummy had just finished getting ready when there was a knock at the door and in walked Uncle Robert, Aunty Molly followed closely by their twin teenage daughter Rebecca and Amanda. Molly looked at mummy and said ‘the girls have been itching to come over and see Teresa’. Mummy just looked at them and said ‘she is in the lounge with Cherie’. Like two bullets from a high powered gun they left the kitchen and came straight to the lounge. Once they spotted me it ‘Ohh, how pretty, she is gorgeous’. Then they were all over my dress and the rest of my outfit saying how lovely it looked, asking Cherie ‘is this one of Mrs. Inglish’s creations?’ Cherie confirmed that it was and one of the girls said ‘she is so talented’. At this point mummy Uncle Robert and Aunty Molly entered the lounge and as soon as Aunty Molly spotted me she looked at Robert and said we have to have a picture of this, she is gorgeous. Uncle Robert then broke the spell and said ‘right, I think it is time we got the pram in the mini-bus’. Which he and Charlie did; but not until mummy had double checked the blankets and other pram accessories for me. Once the pram was in the bus Charlie then started the car engine and turned the heater on so as to warm the car. Once the warm air was circulating in the car mummy carried me and put me in the carrycot ensuring my harness was properly clipped in. She then put a baby blanket over me followed by a satin quilt style cover. Uncle Robert had already left by the time we left. He wanted to get to the church and be ready to get my prom out of the bus as soon as we arrived, but he kept the heater running to keep the pram warm. Once we arrived at church Uncle Robert quickly took my pram from the back of the bus and passed the handles to Aunty Molly who then (followed closely by the twins) wheeled it to mummy’s car and I was quickly taken from my carrycot to my pram. Again the procedure was, attach harness first and as it was relatively mild mummy said just the satin cover would be enough as long as the prams hood was raised. This cheered as she knew she could swiftly fold the cover back showing everyone my outfit including the fact I was wearing thick nappies. Of course, once again mummy had used her cunning and we arrived at the church approximately twenty earlier than usual. This would give all the ladies waiting to go in a chance to see me, and when one looks I had quite an entourage wanting to show me off, but none more than mummy. Mummy’s ploy work brilliantly, virtually every lady came over to coo over mummy’s new baby and the wonderful clothes I was wearing. My fate just needed one more seal to make my fate inescapable and that was not very far away.
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